During my recovery, I bought a Yoni egg and it is, in my opinion, one of the best purchases to make when suffering from vaginismus. My egg has become a kind of ally, essential to my recovery. It's a pity that it is not associated more with vaginismus, as I think it is much more effective than what is often recommended: vaginal dilators.
What is Yoni egg?
The Yoni egg is a stone which, as its name suggests, takes the form of a small egg. It exists in several sizes (generally three: small, medium, large) and has been cut to fit in the vagina. The word Yoni comes from Sanskrit and refers to the female genitalia. In this article I will not go into the spiritual side of the Yoni egg - partly because it might repel some, and partly because this aspect was not essential in my decision. But if you want to know more about it, I invite you to consult the many sites that detail it.
First of all, why use it?
The main benefit of the Yoni egg is to strengthen the muscles of the perineum because the difficulty is to keep it in the vagina. It is often recommended following childbirth, to practice free instinctive flow or to reduce the pain of menstruation. The perineum is the set of muscles that together form the bottom of the pelvis: this is where the pressures of the vagina and bladder are exerted. For women with vaginal problems, the yoni egg is an ally in strengthening the perineum: the more you can feel the muscles, the more you can relax them. In other words, the Yoni egg is a powerful tool for controlling yourself and your intimacy.
The Yoni egg has the advantage of breaking out of the box of what we associate with the vagina - because it is not well known - so you probably haven't had time to close yourself off to the idea of introducing it. It's a bit vague when you put it like that. It is important to remember that inserting a finger, a penis or a tampon is not a meaningless act. The penis can be seen as an intrusion, one's own finger (due to a negative view of masturbation) as something repulsive and the tampon as a potential risk of toxic shock. In short, anything that can traditionally enter the vagina is connoted in a way that makes you feel that it is better not to enter. So the best way to heal is to get out of the traditional patterns. Also, just because it's not traditional doesn't mean that the Yoni egg isn't suitable for the vagina - quite the opposite. The shape of the egg and its smooth walls make it easy and painless to insert.
How to use it?
When I say painless, you have to be careful: the Yoni egg cannot be the first step in healing. It is necessary to start by working on oneself to deconstruct, which can be done through writing for example. The Yoni egg is the second step, more physical than mental, which consists of physically opening the vagina. If you have difficulties with tampons or your fingers, don't assume that the Yoni egg will be comparatively more difficult, in fact the opposite is true. When I bought this egg, I had never managed to put a tampon in before, and I was mentally preparing myself to encounter the same impasse. However, the egg went in on the first attempt. It allowed a release to take place, and with repeated use, controlling my perineum became a simple act.
Practical advice.
Choose the smallest size for your egg, not the largest as is often advised to beginners - rose quartz is the most common and the cheapest, I recommend it. It is much easier to take it with a string, with eggs without a string, you risk losing it or hurting yourself. The Yoni egg is inserted on the side of the rounded part, it may seem contradictory, but it is rather effective. What helped me for the first use was to use lubricant.
To insert it, get into a frog-like position - that is, with your thighs wide apart. Take several deep breaths to relax whatever is going on down there. Then insert it gently. If you don't succeed, don't be discouraged: healing is not a sprint. If the egg goes in, contract the perineum so that it can stay in. Do not go to the toilet with it, it could fall out as you will be relaxing your perineum. Observe your sensations for about fifteen minutes, and take it out: there is no need to keep it in for long the first few times. Don't hesitate to sit or lie down, so that the pressure of the egg is less. When taking it out, do not pull on the thread as this could hurt. Instead, sit facing a mirror with your legs apart and push as if you were trying to give birth. To support the manoeuvre if it is not enough, pull slightly on the thread. But the aim is to let your body open as much as possible to expel the Yoni egg. Unlike others, the most difficult thing is not initially for vaginal women to hold the egg, as they are used to contracting their perineum. The exercise is rather to make it enter and to make it leave.
With practice, you will naturally be able to get the egg in and keep it in your vagina for a long time, even when you come out. You will be able to feel your perineum, so you will be able to contract or relax it on other occasions such as penetration. To get results, you can do this two to three times a week - or more, or less, there are no rules. You can choose to take an egg one size larger when you are comfortable. But this is far from a requirement: the smaller the egg, the more effort you put into contracting it and the more muscle you build up - size is irrelevant.
Vaginismus can be treated on a body and mind level. Yoni eggs are an essential ally to begin the "physical" part of this healing. I hope this little item will help you too. If you still have questions, please send me an email: journaldunevaginique.com. See you soon!
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